Redirection

In the last several months, I’ve felt that I needed to take a step back and evaluate where this blog is going. Although I’ve contemplated ending this blog entirely, I love the domain name and adore the graphics my husband created for me. In a few short months, I’ll have two children who are school aged and my days as a member of MOPS will draw to a close. With that, my venue for writing devotionals for moms will also draw to a close.

It has been my heart’s desire to write devotionals for women since before I knew what it even meant. I hear other women who have similar goals say they want to be just like Beth Moore or Lysa Turkhurst. I only learned who those women are this past year. I can see the draw to that level of a goal. It would be wonderful if my words, typed with a pug at my feet and children building legos {or fighting} could ever have that impact. But at the heart of my desire I don’t have that urge. The older I get, the more I appreciate the small. I long for the quiet and the intimate. Large groups, while never my “thing” were always something I did so I could fit in. I don’t want to fit in any longer. I want to do what I was created to do, even if that involves me taking a deep breath, drawing up all my bravery and stepping away from the norm.

I met with a dear friend for coffee this morning. She is one of my closest friends in the entire world and telling her about this dream came naturally. She wisely mentioned that when God has something for you, it’s like the nagging of a toothache… ever-present and demanding attention until you finally see a dentist and take care of it. She quickly added that the analogy of a toothache isn’t there to assume following God’s will for your life is always painful, but to tell you the truth, I feel uncomforatble. I feel like I’ve been trying to continue walking around in the size 8 1/2 heels I bought pre-kids even though my feet are now a full size larger.

My life has changed a lot in the past year. My heart has changed and grown. I have finally been able to set aside all the pain and struggles and the bitterness I felt at God’s {percieved} abandonment and realize that while everything I’ve ever known has changed – radically– God has been the one constant. Always waiting for me to, in effect, get over myself and be brave enough to be humble. Now, at the age of 33, I finally get to learn lessons my heart wasn’t ready for years ago. Lessons I wish I could have been ready for, but am grateful to be where I am.

My blog has always been about food and family. But you know what I learned in 2014? Physical food had become my comfort even without an obsession. It took several months, but following that realization, I discovered that when anxious, if I chose to spend time in the Word, instead of crying into a piece of chocolate cake, I could actually rest. I want to share this with others. Mothers, singles, Grandpas… I don’t care if you are in my demographic, I want people to understand that there is a way to feed your soul that doesn’t always involve butter or cheese. And as much as I love my dairy products, I love peace even more.

In the coming weeks, there will be some design changes with this blog, so please bear with me. I am excited to move beyond myself and share what I’m learning. I am thrilled to be brave enough to shift the emphasis from our bellies to our souls. Will you join me?

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