New Year, New Perspective

I rang in the New Year quietly. Sylvi was battling what we thought was the flu, and so she went to bed early and I stayed home while Matt and Liam went to a friend’s home to play games and hang out. We’ve become less and less social in the years since having a colicky baby that made outings awkward, so I was glad for him to have the chance to get out of the house. Although neither of us ever really crave much as far as social events, it’s still nice to break out of the routine.

Last year, I spent New Year’s Eve nursing a baby who would not sleep and somehow decided that I would be spending the next 365 days being more intentional in my life. I got up the next morning and hacked and slashed my way through my involvements. 2012 was a year that challenged me, but in ways that helped me grow as a person, mother, wife and friend. I got back to regular journaling, ditched the family blog and kept up with the baby books. When I look back on 2012, I feel that although it wasn’t my most productive year, it was one of my best. I love that I saw (and have memories of) so much beauty and love, no matter the circumstance.

So then as I pondered another year of my life beginning, I considered that this would be the year to focus on Grace. All to often I don’t even try a new recipe or skill, talk to someone new, attempt a longer distance in running or gosh, even get dressed because I’m afraid of failing on some level. I crave perfection from myself and the thought of not living up to expectations, even though they may not be realistic holds me back. Last year, I started taking care of myself through exercise and sit here typing knowing I can run for 40 minutes when this time last year, I could barely get through a 5 minute free run in my fitness class. I tackled an indoor triathlon in October and when I hopped off the treadmill, I struggled to not scream in victory.

What would we all do if we weren’t afraid of letting ourselves down? Who would we reach out to in friendship if we weren’t afraid they’d judge us? If we could learn to be gracious with ourselves, could we allow for flaws in a project with the realization we stepped out and tried?  If we could learn to be more gracious with others and give them the understanding and mercy they may not necessarily deserve but need, perhaps the time spent mulling over hurts would simply fade away. This year as I wrote out my goal for myself, I have kept in mind that above all I want to develop an attitude of grace toward myself and others.

  • Complete a quilt for Sylvi’s bed
  • Finish decorating our master bedroom and work on a quilt for the bed.
  • Plant a vegetable garden, putting by as much as possible.
  • Continue writing for Mom’s Clean Air Force
  • Continue writing for The Green Phone Booth
  • Contine writing for Natural Parents Network
  • Complete the Clearfork Warrior Dash (June)
  • Complete the Bucyrus Y Triathlon (May)
  • Complete the Healthy Homes Tri (July)
  • Complete the Lifetime Indoor Tri (either April or October)
  • Continue regular interval training so as to improve my running time.
  • Swim 500 meters in less than 10 minutes
  • Continue with regular dates with Matt!
  • Begin preschool materials with Liam
  • Teach Sylvi her colors
  • Finish out the MOPS year as the Publicity ST Member and pray about continuing in 2013-2014
  • Lord willing, add another baby to our family (pregnancy is always on my mind!)
I’m still learning a lot about the blog world even though I’ve been online since 2007, and I’ve discovered that this blog cannot be pigeon holed. Well, I suppose the title is, but I am looking forward to talking more about my family, my projects, homeschooling, fitness and faith as this year progresses. I had intended to start this blog entry with an apology for not posting this 5 days ago, but then… where would be with my intent for more grace? So instead, I leave you with excitement for my year, plans swirling in my head, but acceptance for life as it may be in my heart.

 

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