If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry

You’re supposed to be reading a well thought out post about my home organization. It was going to be great and I was really excited to share how we are taming the daily beast lately. Considering today, though… I’m thinking I’ve goofed.

Sylvi is back to waking up long before my alarm goes off, so I start my day pretty early. I am feeling pretty calm and collected on a regular basis. It’s nice, you know? This morning, I had all our beds made before Matt even left for work, the kids and I were dressed and I had pancakes on the griddle. At 930, I was shocked to walk into the living room and realize I was supposed to be babysitting and the family was here. Uh huh, I tried to be cool and would have never mentioned this, but it definitely sets the tone for how under the bus I was for the rest of the day.

Morning: manageable. Then, 45 minutes after my extra charges left absolute insanity hit. Thus far, my philosophy on parenting has been to stay one step ahead of the short people. Oh and remember where I set the dirty diaper. For the most part, this goes well for me. And then, I get overconfident and try to bake a cake while the kids are eating lunch, get distracted by Lord knows what, resume the cake baking and get it in the oven only to realize that the house was silent. I went to investigate only to find my children hunkered down behind the 25 year old child-sized rockers in Sylvi’s room. The overwhelming smell of Burt’s Bees baby powder hit me in the hallway from behind the closed bedroom door. They had managed to dump out at least 50%-75% of the bottle on the floor: Liam was scooping it up to “make art” on the walls and Sylvi was scooping it up to eat it.

I called my wisest mom friend who then told me to call poison control. While on the phone with that kind lady, I herded the kids into the bathroom since they were ghost white from all the powder to prepare to bathe them. She asked for the ingredients on the bottle, so I left the room only to hear a loud crash and Sylvi try out her newest word: “oops”. In the corner of the shower/bath, we have a tension rod with baskets on it. It took two adults to install it 2 years ago. However, the two small children who climbed in the empty bathtub who decided they wanted the shark in the lowest basket managed to yank the entire thing down, which then almost took out the shower curtain.

Listen. When the lady from poison control wishes you a “less eventful” afternoon, it’s a sign you’re not a wimp and it’s ok to take a break. So I dressed both kids and informed them we were all taking a quiet time. This of course did not occur until I discovered a missing bottle of body wash in Sylvi’s room. Said bottle of body wash, has a pump on top. I have visions of the kids bouncing up and down on that pump while I wrestled with the tension rod in the bathroom. Regardless of how the soap managed to get on the floor, it got there. I just stood there and laughed. At least my floors are really clean.

I have a terrible headache, can’t stop thinking about chocolate and am counting the moments until back up arrives. But, I now know beyond a shadow of doubt, silence is certainly not golden and tension rods loosen their hold over time. The point of this quite laughable story from my day is really to myself. Had this kind of a day happened 2 or 3 years ago, I’d have called my husband sobbing and begging him to come home because I didn’t trust myself to remain calm. Today, I called him to ask if he’d mind stopping at the Y to pay our membership fee. Considering the day’s mayhem, it’s probably better if I don’t attempt to take my little hooligans out in public. 🙂 Yes, today has been hard. Yes, today is not over. But today, I realized that I needed to stop and take a break. My husband won’t be coming home to a tidy house or children in matching clothes, but that cake that kept me from being attentive to my children’s mischievousness was amazing.

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